Until One is Committed

by Tommy Newberry

Commitment is the indispensable iron quality of character that paves the way for every great accomplishment. Fortunately, commitment is not a trait we are born with. Rather it is a virtue that can and must be tuned in to and then woven into our approach to life if we are to tap into the deep reservoir of potential we?ve been blessed with.

Commitment is the learned ability to persist even after enthusiasm diminishes. It?s the willingness to be flexible, to improvise, to adjust course, to do whatever it takes to deliver what was promised. We must have a large supply of commitment to excel as individuals, in our marriages, and in our family life, not to mention the commitment necessary for high achievement in business.

If the fire in our belly stayed as red hot after we established our HUGE goals as it did when we were contemplating them ? commitment might be optional.

I think we need commitment!

If our passion and enthusiasm remained as high for our marriage after the wedding day as it did on and before the wedding, we wouldn?t need commitment.

I think we need commitment!

If raising happy, healthy, and self-confident children were as easy as it looked on a 1960?s sitcom then, just maybe, we could skip the commitment. I think we need commitment!

It is precisely because your feelings fluctuate that commitment is critical! As human beings, your feelings are wired to your volatile short-term emotional appetite. This means that if you allow your feelings to drive your decisions, you will feel good in the short-run but under perform in the long run. You?ll be playing now but paying later, as opposed to delaying gratification and reaping a much higher return in the future.

Your likelihood of following through on important commitments is strongly influenced by your self-image. Your self-image is how you unconsciously see and think of yourself right now. It?s based primarily on your interactions with others, particularly those closest to you. You tend to always act in manner consistent with this self-image or current picture because that?s exactly what you will feel like doing. Your feelings always support your current self-image and, as a result, influence you to maintain the status quo, to keep doing what you?ve been doing. Upgrading your self-image, and, by extension your life, requires growth. And useful growth inevitably involves resistance, struggle, and tension. Sometimes this is a solo experience and sometimes it involves other people in your life. To follow your feelings, instead of your goals, is to follow the path of least resistance and to miss out on the abundant life that is available to you. This is the road most traveled.

A worthy goal requires you to let go of the status quo. It requires that you break out of the comfort zone and move into the achievement zone. You must make the inner transition from feeler to doer. High achievers, you'll agree, are motivated by pleasurable outcomes (their goals). On the other hand, underachievers are motivated by pleasurable methods (how it feels).

This dynamic is a learned approach to life and success. Outlined below are 6 examples that illustrate the dangers of our human nature. In order to make the transition from a feeler to a doer you must steer clear of these natural human tendencies. I call them Commitment Cliffs.

Commitment Cliffs:

Tiny Carrots
There?s nothing quite like small goals to bring out the mediocrity in us all. Setting a goal you already know or suspect you can achieve is the complacent, safe approach. It?s more of a formality than a goal. Since small goals result in small rewards, they usually generate low motivation. One of the simplest and smartest ways to increase your commitment level is to establish HUGE goals that demand great commitment. Set goals that force you either to commit or to concede!

Flippant Commitment
There are the commitments made in a rush, often to get something now, in return for following through with a promise later on. They?re missing real commitment and are mostly manipulative and selfish. ?Honey, if you?ll let me buy that new sofa now, I?ll promise to spend hardly anything on the house next months.? You guessed it. When it becomes time for the Flippant Committer to keep their end of the bargain, they?ve either forgotten about it or simply don?t feel like it. Just a few Flippant Commitments is enough to knock the quality of a relationship down a notch or two.

The V.E.C. Virus
This stands for validators, enablers, and commiserators. These toxic microbes invade your various commitments and try to make you feel good about letting yourself and others down. They play to the worst side of your human nature and stimulate comforting pity parties. ?Don?t worry about it Betsy. In this stage of life, it?s total survival mode. That?s how it was with me. He?ll get over it.? Those infected with the V.E.C. Virus are highly contagious and come in many forms. High standards and strong accountability are the antidotes to these nasty bugs!

The Wait and See Plea
This is conditional commitment characterized by the individual who wants to ?keep his options open? afraid something better will come along. ?You guys have been dating for 3 years. Why don?t you ask her to marry you? Well, I?m just not sure she?s the one.? You can?t steal second with your foot stuck on first base. Those who cop the Wait and See Plea miss the magic and reward that comes from authentic commitment. It?s true in your business and personal life as well. So burn the bridges behind you and block the exits! Give yourself no other alternative but to succeed! Like a prenuptial agreement, the Wait and See Plea becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Stinky Commitment
This is insincere commitment or commitment with an asterisk. Stinky Committers make a commitment, don?t follow through, and then blame it all on some ?unforeseen? circumstance that popped up. But you can smell this tactic from a distance because the excuses are so obviously weak or avoidable. ?Sorry I missed our appointment, but the traffic was horrible.? Unfortunately, this becomes a way of life for this Stinker. Commitment is all about keeping your promise even when it?s hard to do so ? when you?re tired ? even when it?s inconvenient ? even when it?s the last thing you want to do. If unforeseen circumstances didn?t pop up, almost everyone would be really committed. Commitment without aggressive pro-activity is dead. It?s phony! So expect the unexpected! Anticipate what might throw you off track. Avoid making commitments lightly and then breaking then, as this weakens your inner credibility and depresses your ability to stick to the big commitments in life.

Over Commitment
This common ailment is caused by an inflammation of the ?Yes I Will Gland.? People who overcommit often have wonderful intentions but end up frustrated with an overstuffed plate of self-inflicted good works, usually at the expense of their family, their health, and their peace of mind. ?Randy, I?m putting together a steering committee for the new church development project and we?ll be working a few nights a week ?.. I could really use your help?? Over Commitment can be stopped in its tracks by having clearly defined goals, written plans, and a 24-hour waiting period before accepting invitations for service. Your commitments must be in alignment with your goals!

When you avoid these Commitment Cliffs you are "Freed to Succeed" in every area of life. Nobody wants to work with, live with or associate with someone who cannot be counted on. Breaking commitments is a relational trap! One by one, through the invisible force of habit, broken commitments can accumulate and gradually weaken your relationships, not only with others, but with yourself as well. Remember, there's no greater interpersonal withdrawal than breaking a commitment with someone you care about.

Once you become truly committed, you will trigger a chain reaction of serendipitous events that propel you toward your God-given potential. Remember, positive feelings follow positive action. You can override any negative self-defeating emotion by initiating positive motion. Most of the world will wait until they feel like it. You, on the other hand, have made a commitment. Now go do it!